Today, I joined The Big Swim – an event where 500 women gathered at Sandbanks Beach, Poole, for International Women’s Day. Together, we plunged into the cold sea to celebrate how far women have come and to remind ourselves of the importance of showing up and supporting one another.
The atmosphere was electric. You could feel it building as we approached the beach, warming up to ABBA, and cheering each other on as we ran into the waves. There were screams, laughter, goosebumps, and conversations that carried long into the journey home.
After the dip, I found myself at a café with three other women – a friend of 14 years, another I’ve known for two, and a woman I’d met just five minutes earlier. Over a BLT and a mocha, we talked about life, love, the highs and lows, and the unexpected twists. It felt open, natural, effortless.
And from that openness, a conversation took shape.
We spoke about connection – not just in friendship, but in relationships too. About how many of us feel the same frustration with how people meet (or don’t meet) in midlife. About our craving for something more real, human, and authentic than what the apps offer.
Will we do something with that idea? Maybe. Maybe not. But that’s not the point.
The point is that honest conversations – the ones where we speak openly about what we want for our lives and what we’d love to change in the world – shift things. They spark new ideas, new connections, new possibilities.
And that only happens when we show up as ourselves.
Friendship in Midlife: What Changes?
Friendships in midlife aren’t formed differently than at other times – they still grow through shared experiences, common ground, and circumstance. But we have changed.
For years, our focus was elsewhere – careers, relationships, children, homes. Friendships often took a back seat. But now, they start to matter again, in a different way.
We crave connection with people who truly see us – who energise us, support our growth, and understand where we’re at (not just where we’ve been). So we start to take stock:
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Who can we lean on?
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Who lifts us up?
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Who do we feel most ourselves with?
This came into focus for me recently when finalising my Will and Power of Attorney. I don’t have a spouse or children, and my parents are in their 80s. I wasn’t sure who I could ask to take on that kind of responsibility.
And then, through honest conversation, two long-standing friends stepped forward without hesitation: “I’ll do that for you,” they said. No expectation. No obligation. Just pure friendship.
That is huge.
And I think that’s why female friendships in midlife start to feel more significant again – because we need each other in ways we may not have before. Or maybe we’re only just recognising those needs for the first time.
The Beauty of Showing Up
The women I’ve mentioned came into my life through different paths – a waterskiing club, a beach fitness group, work, or simply being in the right place at the right time.
These friendships started in different ways, but the ones that have endured have one thing in common: we kept showing up.
Showing up to events. To conversations. To each other.
And gradually, we stepped into each other’s lives beyond the space where we first met. That’s when friendships deepen – when they expand beyond the shared moment that brought you together.
And sometimes, showing up leads to the most unexpected outcomes –
like a big idea sparked over a bacon bap,
or the realisation that the support you need has been there all along.
Women Supporting Women
One of the messages from The Big Swim was the importance of actively supporting other women – in friendship, in business, in life:
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Champion each other’s ideas instead of competing.
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Buy from and promote women-led businesses.
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Encourage that friend to go for the opportunity she’s unsure about.
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Show up – even when it’s easier not to.
And maybe most importantly, recognise the women who do this for you – and do the same in return.
An Invitation to Show Up
So today, I invite you to reflect on your friendships.
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Who are the women who lift you up?
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Who are the ones you can be truly honest with?
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Who have you lost touch with but still think about?
Then – show up.
Send the message. Pick up the phone. Say, “I was thinking about you.”
Because in the end, friendship grows from the moments we choose to be present –
for each other and for ourselves.
