By midlife, we’ve lived a lot of life.
We’ve carried responsibilities – people, deadlines, logistics, emotions, outcomes. We’ve been busy, useful, stretched, exhausted. Good. Tired. Confused. And at times, completely disconnected from ourselves.
Then something shifts.
Midlife invites – and sometimes insists – that we pause.
Through change, loss, uncertainty, health issues or the hormonal shifts of perimenopause, we’re asked to stop. To listen. To ask: What do I need now?
Pressing pause doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means creating space to hear yourself again. It means not diving straight into the noise. It means starting your day with you, not your inbox.
So much of midlife is about returning.
To who we really are. To what matters.
To the spark inside we might have quieted for years.
And one of the simplest, most powerful ways to return – every single day – is through a morning ritual.
The Origin of Rituals
Morning rituals aren’t a modern invention.
They’ve existed across centuries and cultures – from monks chanting before sunrise, to Indigenous morning gratitude practices, to Ayurvedic routines honouring the body’s natural rhythm.
These practices were designed to reconnect us to something deeper – the earth, the divine, our bodies, breath, or values.
A moment of reconnection before re-entering the world. And in our fast-paced lives, that same invitation still stands.
How I Came to Morning Rituals
Over a decade ago, I attended a Tony Robbins’ event in London. He spoke about how you start your day shapes your energy, your mindset, your life.
His morning ritual – or Priming – is a 10-minute practice that combines elements of breathwork, movement, visualisation, gratitude, and intention, designed to shift your mental and emotional state.
I followed his full practice for a while – and it worked for me. It grounded me, focused me, gave me energy.
But over time, as morning routines became more popularised, I began to explore other ways of starting the day.
I realised I didn’t need one fixed method – I needed to listen to what I needed in the season I was in.
After a tough life event? I needed gentleness.
In overwhelm? Stillness and space.
When I felt disconnected? Movement, nature, breath.
That’s when things really shifted: my rituals began to change with me. And that became the ritual – giving myself what I needed, and in doing so, reconnecting to myself.
The Rituals I Return To
These are the practices I come back to, again and again – not to get anything “right,” but to feel more me:
- Asking myself: What do I need today? Asked in bed, before I even stand up. Sometimes long, sometimes just a sentence. A way to meet myself on paper.
- Getting outside. Barefoot in the garden, even in winter. Breathe. Listen. Be. If it’s dry, I eat my breakfast outdoors. No phone. Just birdsong.
- Movement: Gentle yoga, stretching, walking. Or music on, body moving freely and instinctively. A somatic wake-up.
- Teeth Talk. While brushing my teeth, I often do what Mel Robbins calls “Teeth Talk” – I look in the mirror and say: “I love you.” “I’m proud of you.” “I’ve got you.”
- Cold showers. For the last two years, I’ve ended every shower with two minutes of cold water. I had to build up to it, but now, if I forget, I get back in. I love how this ritual brings me into the present and leaves me feeling ready to take on the day.
- Setting an intention. Not what I want to do. How I want to be: calm, soft, focused, open. Especially if I need grounding or my central nervous system needs calming. The time varies from just a few mins to around twenty.
Some days I do one. Some days several. Some days, just a breath and a check-in is enough. But each time, I’m pausing – and coming home to myself, even briefly – before the world begins to pull me in other directions.
(Full disclosure: there are also days when I do nothing. Initially it goes unnoticed, but if I miss giving myself time first thing for a few days in a row, then I start to notice my days being more rushed, I can feel more tetchy, and by making the day about everyone else, my own priorities start to slip.)
Let’s Be Clear: This Isn’t About Productivity
That’s important to say. Morning rituals aren’t about efficiency or squeezing more out of your day. They’re about not losing yourself in the doing. They are:
- A form of emotional hygiene
- A way to clear internal clutter
- A moment to respond to life rather than react to it
- A daily act of connecting with, and remembering who, you are.
Morning Ritual Myths (Let’s Ditch These)
- You have to wake up at 5am – No, you don’t.
- It has to be the same every day – Nope. Life shifts, so can your ritual.
- It has to be long or impressive – One minute of presence can be all you need.
- You need special tools – Your breath, body, and awareness are more than enough.
- It has to be quiet and meditative – Movement, music, even laughter can be just as grounding.
No Time? No Problem!
You don’t need an hour. You don’t even need ten minutes. If you’ve only one minute try one of these:
1 minute
- Place your hand on your heart. Ask: What do I need today?
- Do Teeth Talk while brushing your teeth.
- Step outside and take three deep breaths.
And if you’ve more time, or start to feel the benefits just after one minute and want to give yourself more:
10 minutes
Journal with these prompts:
- What do I appreciate about my life today?
- What’s one thing I can do for me today?
- What energy or quality do I want to bring into the world?
Or: move to one song. Let your body lead. My favourite: “Alexa, play some summer tunes!”
More time?
- Stretch, journal, go for a walk, make a slow breakfast, sit in silence.
- Develop your meditation practice. Sit in silence, repeat a mantra, or use one of the many apps on offer (I use Insight Timer) and select a guided meditation that you are drawn to.
- Create your own Morning Ritual Menu by asking yourself what you need today.
Why They Matter
“Morning rituals aren’t about doing more. They’re about remembering who you are — before the world asks you to be anything else.”
Morning rituals offer:
- A moment of connection before the world gets loud
- A check-in with your inner voice
- A calmer nervous system
- A clearer, kinder start to the day
But beyond all that, morning rituals offer a path back – back to you.
A reminder that you, your thoughts, your rhythm, your needs – they matter.
Not just when everyone else is sorted, but first.
That’s what the pause is for.
Not to stop life – but to meet yourself within it.
An Invitation to Pause
Try something tomorrow.
Nothing big. Just a breath. A pause. A question.
Put your feet on the floor and ask: What do I need today?
And see what shifts when you answer that with even the smallest act of care.
