| Life has a way of nudging us to pause and reflect on what’s really important. I received one of those nudges this week when I was diagnosed with genetic haemochromatosis (GH), a hereditary condition that causes iron overload.
Thankfully, my diagnosis came early, and there are simple, effective ways to manage it without medication or major lifestyle changes, so the impact on my life is, hopefully, minimal. However, during the period of uncertainty, my thoughts, feelings, and emotions were certainly put to the test.
What Really Matters to Me?
In the seven days between the initial screening and receiving confirmation, I cycled through stress, overthinking, interrupted sleep, emotional conversations with friends and family, and hours of research trying to gain some control. But during this time, I also found myself looking for clarity, and asking:
What really matters to me?
What do I want for my life?
And why am I not always prioritising these things?
While I didn’t experience a dramatic “aha!” moment where everything suddenly became clear, I did experience the volume being turned up on my inner whispers. You know, the ones from that inner voice that offers thoughts and ideas, seemingly from nowhere, which encourages us to “go do that,” but which we often silence with our louder voices of reason, fear, and doubt.
Go Do That
My inner voice was once again encouraging me to be brave, to trust myself, and follow my heart. She whispered:
- Prioritise your selfcare. Focus on those activities that support you most, give yourself what you need, and check-in with yourself every day.
- Further explore the idea of living and working abroad for a season – you’ve wanted to do that for a while now.
- Trust that you will attract a loving and supportive partner whose vision aligns with yours. Focus on being happy and secure in yourself.
- Invest in those in your life who truly matter. Prioritise the relationships that nourish and uplift you; let go of those that don’t … you know who they are!
- Expand your friendship circle to bring in new energy, perspectives, and experiences.
- Have the courage to ask your professional network for referrals. Reconnect and unlock new opportunities. Trust that those who can help, will.
- Step out of your comfort zone to achieve your well-being and fitness goals that you’ve been talking about for ages 🙂
- Spend your time wisely; less distraction and more action when it comes to menogo.
- Do more of what makes you happy.
Right now, these are the things that feel important to me; over time they may change or evolve, but the key is for me to not let them slip down my list of priorities. Instead, I choose to actively work towards them, so I’m not only reminded of their importance when life intervenes.
So, Why Do We Wait?
The reasons we delay pursuing what we truly want are complex and varied. Fear of failure, societal expectations, the desire to fit in, and the busyness of daily life all play a role. Sometimes, it’s the belief that there’s always more time—until suddenly, there isn’t.
I realised during my health scare that it’s easy to let the important things slide, thinking we’ll get to them later. But what if later never comes?
In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware shares the wisdom of those with phenomenal clarity at the end of their lives. Their top regrets include:
I wish I had the courage to live true to myself.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
Do any of these strike a chord with you?
DISCOVERING WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU
So, what truly matters to you? The answer might not come immediately, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s common to feel uncertain about your core values and priorities because life often sweeps us along without giving us the space to pause, reflect, and connect with our inner wisdom. We’re frequently caught up in daily routines, obligations, and distractions that make it challenging to see what’s most important.
To help you uncover what truly matters, here are a few exercises designed to bring clarity and insight:
1. The Rocking Chair Reflection
Imagine yourself at 80, sitting in a rocking chair, reflecting on your life. What do you wish you had done more of? What do you regret not pursuing? Who would you have liked to spend more time with? Did your career fulfil you? Did you sacrifice too much of your happiness and health for professional success? Did you laugh? Were you happy?
2. Time Allocation Exercise
Track how you spend your time for one week. At the end of the week, categorise your activities into those that align with your core values and those that don’t. Are you spending your time on what matters most to you? If not, what can you take off your plate to create space for more of what nourishes you?
3. The Future Self Letter
Write a letter from your future self, 1, 5, 10, or 20 years from now. What advice would she give you about how to live your life now? What would she encourage you to start, stop, or continue doing?
MIDLIFE: A TIME FOR REASSESSMENT
Midlife is a powerful time – where you have the wisdom of experience and the vitality to make significant changes. Don’t wait for awake-up call to remind you of what truly matters. Take the time now to reflect, plan, and take action toward the life you truly want.
Your future self will thank you. |
