Have you been asking yourself some of midlife’s BIG questions lately? Questions such as, “Who am I?”, “What’s next?”, “Is this it?”, and “What do I want to do with my life?”
If you have, then you’re in a great place!
Of course, it may not feel like it. You may be feeling uneasy, restless, anxious, stressed, or even lost. You may be feeling mentally exhausted trying to figure it all out. Or you may feel a lack of control, unable to find the answers or direction you are looking for.
You may be experiencing changes to your roles and relationships. In a career that no longer motivates or excites you. Perhaps you are taking care of your parents or still looking for your soulmate. Life may be feeling lonely as an empty-nester or you may be coming to terms with not being able to have your own family. The aging process may have caught you by surprise or you may have developed health issues. And let’s not forget the trials and tribulations of perimenopause!
Unexpected unravellings at a time in life when you expected to have everything sorted.
Midlife can also be a time of immense reflection. It can be a time when we start to look back over our years and question some of our decisions, think about the ‘what-might-have-beens’ and contemplate the ‘if onlys.’ Regrets may start to surface and yet-to-be-realised dreams, may start to fade away.
If you are goal-oriented, there may have been less reflection and more action. Rather than take stock, you’ve tapped into your old survival patterns to avoid what is really happening and scrambled to accomplish bigger goals which, whilst temporarily satisfying, have ultimately proved equally as exhausting.
So why is this ‘messy middle’ a great place to be?
Because when we don’t have the answers, when we are without direction or want to feel vital again, it’s the perfect time to take an intentional pause and get curious – curious about ourselves.
It’s an opportunity to explore who we are today, identify what lights us up and what doesn’t and discover what’s important, and what’s not. Who do we feel good around and who sucks the life out of us? What are the habits, patterns, and beliefs we have that no longer serve us? Where have we let our boundaries buckle and what do we now value?
It’s time to stop listening to the outside world and go inwards. A time to get quiet, to breathe. To turn down the volume on the ‘should’s’, the ‘can’ts’, and the ‘why would you’s?’. To let go of the expectations of the outside world, and those we created for ourselves, and turn up the volume on our inner ‘knowing’ voice. The voice that has been whispering to us for years, but we have often ignored, allowing our much louder ‘monkey mind’ to take control, the primitive part of our brain that we are in private conversation with pretty much all the time. Sometimes positive, but often negative. The ‘I’m not good enough. They’re out to get me. I can’t do that. Go one, have another piece of cake’ chatter.
It’s time to get out of our heads, to tune in to our bodies and drop into our hearts. To tap into our innate self. The self that knows what truly brings us joy and happiness. That place of calm, joy, and stillness where we can listen to new wisdom, collaborate with the Universe, and receive new ideas, insights, and creative solutions. A place where new breakthroughs and a-ha moments are possible and where the answers you are looking for are to be found.
It’s time to quit asking others for answers and start to trust ourselves. All the answers we ever need are already within us.
Questions to connect with your innate self.
Choose the questions that make sense to you right now. Take time to answer these questions, and remember don’t think about what your answers ‘should be’, tune-in to what you really think and feel:
- How am I really?
- What do I feel like I need more of right now?
- What do I need less of right now?
- What makes me feel alive? When do I feel most excited and present in my life?
- How would I behave if I were the best in the world at what I do?
- Why am I worth knowing?
- When was the last time I did something for the first time?
- If knew the answer was “yes” what would I ask for?
- What is my perfect day?
- What adventure would I like to go on if money was no object?
- What did I love doing as a child that I would like to do now?
- Why do I feel stuck, and perhaps even scared, to move forward?
- Do I feel like there is something else I should be doing or becoming in the next chapter of my life?
- Who do I want to be with the time I have left on this planet?
- What do I need to leave behind in order to move fully into living a more authentic and meaningful life?
- Is there something that has a deeper meaning for me in my life that I desire to teach?
- What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
- If I was a superhero, what would my super power be and why?
- Who am I most envious of and why? What is it that I’m not doing, or who am I not being, that they are reminding me of?
- What am I most proud of in my life and why?