Birthdays. Christmas. New Year’s.
They often come wrapped in layers of expectation — long-held traditions, pressure to please others, or simply doing what’s always been done. Without meaning to, we can find ourselves on autopilot, ticking boxes and fulfilling roles, without ever pausing to ask:
What do I actually want?
This year, I pressed pause.
I celebrated my 57th birthday in the simplest, most aligned way I could imagine. No pressure. No packed itinerary. Just a calm, joyful day that felt entirely mine.
A saltwater sauna.
A sea dip.
Tea at a friend’s beach hut.
A relaxed Sunday lunch with a few good people and a few table games.
Nothing elaborate. Just time spent with those who have truly shown up for me this year — people who’ve shared their presence, their kindness, their energy.
It felt honest. It felt right. And it made me reflect on the season ahead.
As the festive period approaches, how often do we stop to ask: What do I need right now? What would feel good for me?
An Invitation for You
Choosing yourself isn’t about rejecting celebration. It’s about noticing what actually matters — and allowing space for it.
Maybe that means rethinking traditions that no longer feel nourishing.
Maybe it’s about adding small rituals that bring you peace.
Maybe it’s choosing rest instead of rushing.
This isn’t just about birthdays or Christmas.
It’s about reclaiming any day — a rainy Tuesday in March, a slow Sunday in July — as a moment to check in with yourself and respond with care.
Seven Ways to Choose You
1. Set a boundary with kindness
Say no, respectfully but firmly, to plans or requests that don’t serve you. You can be kind without self-abandoning.
2. Take a pause moment
Step outside. Sit quietly. Breathe. A few minutes of stillness can shift the tone of your whole day.
3. Do something that fills you up
Return to what lights you up — reading, journaling, walking, cooking something new. I’ve been experimenting with recipes lately, turning darker evenings into little pockets of joy.
4. Celebrate small wins
Whether it’s showing up for yourself or taking a break when you needed one, acknowledge it. I often add these to my (almost) daily gratitude list.
5. Leave space for spontaneity
Clear your diary a little. Allow space for last-minute plans, unexpected detours, or simply doing nothing at all.
6. Add something playful
Make room for lightness. It might be a spontaneous chat with a friend, a silly game, or a moment of laughter that wasn’t in the plan.
7. Prioritise your energy
Pay attention to what drains you and what recharges you. Honour that. Step back when needed. Lean in when it feels right.
Journaling Prompts: Choosing You
If you want to explore this idea further, try sitting with one or more of these:
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What are the things I’ve been saying yes to that I wish I could say no to?
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When was the last time I did something just for me, with no outside expectation or pressure?
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What would it look like to balance my own needs with everything else this season?
These questions aren’t about fixing anything. They’re about becoming more aware, so you can move through life with a little more clarity and self-respect.
A Love Note from Your Inner Self
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
You deserve your own care, attention, and joy. When you pause to check in and respond with intention — rather than obligation — everything else begins to fall into place.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown
